


The Incredible Hulk Meanderings

by Khanada



Series: Marvel Meanderings [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 11:30:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12770127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khanada/pseuds/Khanada
Summary: A long time ago (in a galaxy not so far away) I came across an internet site called the Fringedweller’s Guide, which sadly appears to have been swallowed up by a black hole. It offered an often very amusing running commentary on Stargate episodes (among other things) and appeared to be made up of the musings/thoughts triggered by events/dialogue in each episode.I thought I would offer something along those lines for the MCU. So, I give you, Marvel Meanderings.I suggest you watch the movie before reading this … and then while reading this.The Incredible Hulk: AKA cliché-ville





	The Incredible Hulk Meanderings

Guess this isn’t an origin story then. Good use of opening credits though

Hee “Green Sasquatch Sighted”. How cool a name would that be? The Green Sasquatch (‘he fights for the environment’) the Incredible Sasquatch…The Mysterious Sasquatch….

“Requisition request: US Army: Stark Industries”. Best not tell Banner that Stark helped to try to blow him up! They may not be “science bros” after that. Or did that happen while Stark was holidaying in an Afghan cave? (In which case, it’s another reason to not like Stane.)

As soon as you see “Days without incident” you know there’s going to be an incident!

Weather forecast on tv; every time immediately makes me think of “The Fast Show” – “Scorchio”

Cookie Monster teaching Rage Monster to say Hungry – hee!

The dog’s thinking “yes! I’m hungry, give me food!!!”

Okay, how does the instructor guy do that with his stomach muscles???!!

Oooh, good idea! Hit the big rage monster and make him angry! Great plan!

Oooh! That guy just knocked Banner into a locker, like a school bully, must be a bad guy

Okay that sound in the room just makes me think of Star Wars every time!! Same sound effect perhaps?

Ha! Cliché of “just when things are looking up – something goes wrong…” That is thick blood! Did the serum and gamma rays do that?

Phew – it only hit the conveyor belt (oh of course it didn’t!!!)

Remind me NEVER to buy anything bottled in this factory!

Oh and it JUST happens that the contaminated bottle is being shipped to the US – what a coincidence.

Love this guy’s hand gesture here ‘Shoo fly! Shoo!’

“Don’t make me … hungry” – oh dear been watching the Cookie Monster too much I think! No wonder the guy says ‘what?’ I would too!

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m … hungry” In fairness, I don’t think anyone’s at their best when they’re hungry! Snickers has just run a whole series of adverts based around that!

Really? Mysterious package off a guy off the streets – well that’s sensible

Never explains why Samuel Stern chose the name Mr Blue – wouldn’t “The Leader” be more on point?

Love that Mr Blue doesn’t forget to include a smiley face!!

I don’t think that experiment went well

Ooooh Stan Lee cameo

Hee – poor Stan Lee!

Ooooh Englishman as bad guy cliché alert! Russian-born Englishman no less – 2 clichés one (brilliant) actor

Seriously? Ross REALLY doesn’t tell him the whole story!!! No-one can do the maths if they don’t have all the variables.

Well that’s not ominous at all – black van at night….

Tim Roth does hard man alert…

Hee. The dog’s thinking “Yay!!! New toy!!!”

Oooh, he shot the dog. Must be a bad guy

Red long-sleeved hoodie – with hood up – when everyone else is in shorts, vests, strappy tops…. Not conspicuous at all!

Big long chase sequence and just happens to knock into the douchebags from work. What a coincidence

Why does he need a monitor to tell him his heart’s beating fast? Wouldn’t he just … well … feel it?

Cliché of worst possible timing … yawn

The guy who got tranqued is actually probably the luckiest guy there!

Random shoe – hee

If needles just bounce off his skin, how does Hulk get his vaccinations for travelling abroad?

Moving conveyor belt cliché – because EVERY action movie that has a scene in some form of factory has to have a moving conveyor belt bit at some point!

Oooh – homage to Raiders of the Lost Arc – running away from a boulder

Do you think Hulk’s angry by any chance?? (Or is he hungry? Maybe he should eat a Snickers)

Why so upset about losing Banner? It’s not like a great big green rage monster running amok is exactly subtle!

“It was Banner” “You have to explain”… ‘Well – once upon a time there was a guy called Steve Rogers, he was given something called Super Serum – made him super strong… but he went and crashed his plane in the Arctic somewhere before we could replicate the serum in his system. We tried anyway (because we’re not very smart) and it went bad … very bad’

Not so subtle, subtle dig at Ross there – ‘I’ve been in situations that have gone bad because we weren’t given the whole story ... like last night in fact’!

How do you follow up the words “you’re going to have a lot of professional tough guys pissing in their pants”? With a “sir”. Because that’s just SO respectful!

Cute kid giving horribly skinny white guy some money – makes a change

Yay for stretchy trousers!!! But a stretchy waistband is not going to make them stretchy around the thighs and calves!!!

Seriously?? Basically referring to Steve Rogers as Bio-Tech??? Just another reason to REALLY not like Ross!!!!

Nope – Super Soldier is NOT an oversimplification – that is EXACTLY how it is described in Captain America … and ANOTHER reason to not like Ross – has to be the smartest guy in the room – even when he isn’t – and put everyone down even when they’re right (even when he wants them to work for him)

Sitting on a bench reading a newspaper disguise, not a cliché at all!

No that’s not Stan, Stan’s the guy you poisoned with your blood

OH MY GOD!!!! It’s the guy who played Hulk in the TV series!!!! Nice one, Marvel!:-)

That’s right bribe the security guy with pizza!

Yes, he is The Man!!! More the man than you, honey!

Walking in the rain and car pulls up cliché … are there any clichés this movie DOESN’T include???

Well OF COURSE THIS IS GOING TO GO WRONG!!!! How ON EARTH can they think that’s the same stuff that made Steve Rogers into Captain America when there isn’t anything like the number of injections, they don’t even need to give penicillin first … and there’s no Vita-Rays?? I mean, seriously??? They’re trying to replicate the serum, but don’t even include the ingredients THEY ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT???

“This could get interesting” well, that’s ONE way of putting it!!!

Run through library cliché

“Daddy come and talk to me!!!” Going after your daughter’s boyfriend with a tank is a BIT excessive don’t you think?

Told you, stretchy waist doesn’t make the rest of the trousers stretchy!

I think that getting to the point that a ROCKET LAUNCHER doesn’t work would be the point that I would say – ‘dude you’re on your own’

Sound weapon – cool!

Gun ship – right – because EVERYTHING ELSE you’ve just thrown at him HASN’T WORKED – so that’s a GREAT idea!!!!!

“Target angry, target angry!” Whoops wrong film

Seriously? He SAVES BETTY’S LIFE and Ross STILL doesn’t get it?!

Yes – it’s so dangerous for her to be with the guy WHO JUST SAVED HER LIFE!!! … FROM YOUR WEAPONS!!!

I suddenly REALLY like the new boyfriend, he gets it! Must be hard for him to see his girlfriend with her ex but he still helps!!!

“I used to wonder why she never talks about you. Now I know” – ‘it’s because you’re a complete piece of dirt’! 

“Where does she meet these guys”?? You mean, decent guys??? Yes, I’d like to know that too.

Throw a rock at the thunderstorm – because that’ll work. (Well, actually, I guess it might, if it hits Thor on the head and knocks him out but ... hmmm, maybe that’s why he punches Thor in Avengers Assemble? Perhaps he’s still smarting at him and decides to get his own back on Thor for not shutting the thunder the hell up when he wanted.)

“Never seen anything like it outside of a racehorse”? Does that mean all racehorses have super serum in them?

Clenching fist cliché … because we haven’t had enough clichés already!

Yup I think I’d fall over if my shower head suddenly turned into a machine gun too!

Oh look, purple stretchy trousers…. I wonder why it had to be purple

The Mysterious Hulk. Now THAT would be a cool name!!!

Is the Smoky Mountain National Forest anywhere near Puente Antiguo?? (This movie does happen at the same time as Iron Man 2, and in that film, Coulson’s sent off when Thor’s hammer arrives – Connection???)

“Me in a metal tube” what does that sound like? Oh yeah – pressurised metal container in Avengers Assemble

Hee – let’s get a cab… maybe not the best idea!!

Hulk giving anger management tips, ummmm!!!!

Sam Sterns … nothing suspicious about him at all

“Like a monster” but oh no no – that’s not foreshadowing anything AT ALL (yawn!)

Cliché of guy finding cure he’s been searching for … only for things to go tits up and for him to have to undo it (see Ben Grimm in Fantastic Four and … oh, NUMEROUS others!!!)

I LIKE Betty Ross!!! Doesn’t take crap from her dad!!!

“Why are you always hitting people”? good question!

“I want that” Blonsky, be careful what you wish for!!!

“Could be an abomination”… Well that’s not foreshadowing at all!

“I can fix this!” I don’t think he wants you to dear

Skulls REALLY shouldn’t move like that!!!

Car hits fire hydrant and explodes cliché 

That’s right, just stand there while a big monster throws a car in your direction

“One of yours”? ummm well…. 

Daddy can you spell the word HYPOCRITE!!!

That’s right, just stand there gawping while the monster you just completely failed to blow up comes towards you in classic slo-mo destruction-porn style

Self-sacrificing at the moment a cure’s been found cliché … yawn!

Falling out the sky in slo-mo cliché

“Oh shit!” Well, yes! That’s one way of putting it.

Is that some kind of BIG MANLY MOVE tearing the (rest of) the shirt off?

Dizzy Hulk – hee! Yes Abomination, I’m laughing too!

“Help the Green one” Can’t blame the soldier for being confused!!!

Spinning helicopter – are we going to get more dizzy Hulk?? Nope. Damn!

Oil spilling out of tank near fire cliché

Good guy finding final strength to fight back at last possible moment as bad guy mocks him cliché

Bad guy suddenly gets back up when good guy thinks he’s down and has turned his back cliché

“Any last words?” “Hulk Smash.” Banner, he wasn’t talking to you! He was quite clearly talking to the general; used his title and everything!

What’s with the chest beating when he wins? Has he suddenly turned into King Kong?

Couldn’t have said it more clearly if he’d used words – “Here you go Ross. He’s your mess! YOU clean it up!”

Lousy timing of trouble showing up when the guy’s about to get the girl after everything cliché (I think that about covers all of them!)

Beautiful British Columbia – that’s a hell of a run from New York!!!

And WHY does he randomly Hulk out while meditating????

YAY!!!! It’s “The Consultant” 

“What if I told you we were putting a team together?” And another Avengers tease!!!

“Who’s we?” Wait, I thought Ross knew about SHIELD???


End file.
